This rings true today

Today, I was reminded I was human.  Out of nowhere sitting in traffic , tears filled my eyes and I missed my past.  Just when you think you are Super Woman your inner feelings come out and remind you, you are human and you did love with all you had so it makes sense that you will hurt, deeply.  Only those who really never loved, really never hurt.  But on the bright side the tears faded fast and I worked my way back to happier thoughts much much quicker than just 6 short months ago.  So there is progression !  

Play in the Bright Grassy Green Grass

This weekend me and my guy are lucky enough to have traveled to South Florida to see some very uplifting friends.  No drama, just the facts.  They don't live for it, they don't search for it and they certainly don't create it.  (Unfortunately, most people usually have one person in their lives that does exactly that).  The problem with having people in your life that create drama, they usually do it at someone's expense.  They put people down, they make fun of someone different to make themselves feel better.  And the thing to remember, the more time you spend with someone like this, the more you become like them.  So if you want to be a great person, a loving person, a happy person, then it is simple. Surround yourself with great, loving, happy people.

One of my friends that I have reconnected with sent me this quote.  I love it, it sounds just like me.  Today my guy and I are going to go play in bright green grassy grass, play at the beach and do the things that bring out our magic self and we are going to do it with some really great people.  I am starting to see the things in my life change, true friends are coming out of the woodwork.  I am searching for and reconnecting with good, real people. 

 So todays post is all about how important it is to surround yourself with people who inspire you,  people who make you smile and who make you feel good about yourself, but most importantly, people who make complete strangers smile, people who make complete strangers feel good about themselves.  Then become like them!

Go Ahead, Take One!

I know I have already posted for the day, but I saw this and just loved it!  I felt like reaching into my Computer and taking a smile.  I am going to do this at home for myself so when I need a smile, I can grab one!  So go ahead....Reach out and take a Smile!

Overcome the Sadness and Dance

This morning I woke up sad because my guy goes to his Daddy's house for the evening and that always makes me sad.  So I have started a few little rituals to help me get through the day.   

Here is my list so far:

1. Make sure me and my guy get our Kitchen Dancin in before I take him to Daycare.  If you have read the post below you will know that the song "Further On" by Radio Bronze Return is our favorite song and it always puts us into smiles and laughs as we dance.

2.  Get down on my hands and knees and play crawling hide and seek with my little guy.  It's amazing how much fun you can have when you actually allow yourself to be silly and play

3. Rock the House: Whenever I wake up sad I automatically turn to my Itunes Inspiration Station Play List, I created.  Phillip Phillip has great songs, Radio Bronze Return, Disney Songs.  Make yourself a Inspiration Station Playlist.  I HIGHLY recommend it!  Music always brings me out of a funk.

4. Blog about something happy.  I use to search for quotes about how I was feeling.  I have completely changed that, now I search and blog about quotes about HOW I WANT TO FEEL.   Just by doing that I have changed my entire outlook on the day.  Change your focus to happy, strong, independent, focusing on how extra great your futures are going to be!

If you have a "overcome the sadness" ritual, please share!!!!  

A Fortitude of Strength

The Woman in the center of this picture is my hero.  She was the strongest woman alive and I draw on her strength everyday.  She is my grandmother, she raised 6 children on her own in the 1940's through the 1970's.   She was born in 1905 and lived for 89 years.  She has many many grandchildren, great grandchildren and great great grandchildren  (to date there are over 110 of us)  and over 30 of us lived with her at one point in time...myself included.  

I saw a quote online that said:  "Rejection is simply God's way of saying...Wrong Direction".  But when I read that quote, I heard my grandma saying sadly but honestly; "You were going in the wrong Direction, My Dear".  I realized I  had chosen the wrong path but I am on the right one now and if I can possess even 1/4th the strength that she had, then everything would turn out perfect.

This quote reminds me that even though I may feel alone, I am never alone.  There are many people watching out for me and my little guy.  I have experienced what some would call "coincidental" help.  I like to call them "Tender Mercies" most likely orchestrated by my grandma, Jesse Bell Tye Smith. 

Who is your Super Hero?

100 %

We all have rough days.  I thought I was going to have one tonight.  I closed the last chapter in my past tonight by finally removing all my belongings from the home I once lived in.  I thought I was going to be sad, uncomfortable, disheartened....turned out I was happy, proud of my strength and grateful for those helping me.  I honestly believe I owe much of my strength to one great woman who lives a few hours north of me.  She has given me the best gift anyone could ever offer.  She has given me forgiveness and friendship when she could have rightfully ignored me and walked away.   

 

I have started to make major changes in the way I act,

the way I speak and  the way I think and guess what happened...... 

The roughest of rough days turned out really quite easy.

 

I realized tonight that we are on the right path. Reminded myself to stay the course, remain patient.

and remember, It will all make sense soon 

 

SINGLE is the NEW HEALTHY

I think this is great.  Lately I have been getting a lot of pressure from friends for me to "get out there" and meet people, meet the next "one".  I actually have my next "one" he is two feet tall and the cutest boy on the planet!

Someone actually told me my life was boring. Seriously? Boring?  I have a 10 month old, my life is anything but boring!  We crawl chasing each other, build towers with blocks just to tear them down, watch Disney Junior, have slumber parties, go swimming, have major splash bath time, have accidental, "well ok" On Purpose Food Fights.  We love it when it rains cause we can go outside and splash in puddles!  My life, boring....No way!!!

So no, I would not rather spend time out with a  bunch of non silly adults, spending money they don't have, dressing up to impress people that they really don't care about .  The good memories that I do have from my past are of movie slumber party nights, not anything else.

I have come to the conclusion, it is not only OK to be alone, right now it is HEALTHY  for me to be alone.  I am finally getting back to my happy silly self.  I changed so much  trying to fit in with a crowd that I didn't belong with in the first place.  Happy to be silly, Happy to be me. Happy to be Single.

Never one

Today, something reminded me of how my dad never missed one golf tournament, never missed one recital, never missed one play that I was in.  Always right there cheering me on, front and center!  I can't wait to never miss one game , never miss one performance or never miss one anything that my little guy chooses to do.  Come rain or shine, I will be there!

This quote says it all....and then some

The best Investment

I love this quote. 

 It is so true.  

There is no better investment than investing time with my son. 

As I get stronger

Today, I can honestly say I felt great about "me".  The blow to my self esteem from being lied too and cheated on ihas started to diminish.  I have taken steps that have helped me, like me again.  And I I have made a really good friend in the process!  Today, I actually felt self confidence again.  It's been a long time since I felt that way and It's only up from here!

Baby Steps to becoming "OK"

Last night was the first night that I fell asleep at what I think is a decent hour on a Thursday Night.  Thursday nights are the night my little guy spends with his Dad and I always have a tough time going to sleep.  Thursday nights are usually my clean the house, do laundry, pay bills, go for a run and then finally pass out around 3 am nights.









Last night I fell asleep around 1:00 am on the couch!  So proud of myself!  Many people tell me that I should use that time as "me time".  Right now I use it as my "Get things done time".  It seems to help me worry less.  I look forward to the day my little guy and I can have our little conversations, so I know, that he knows, he is will be seeing his Mama the next day.

My very own motivational coach

If you ever need a "pick me up" check out my youngest brothers facebook page.  His name is Hank Smith, he is a spiritual/motivational speaker for teens...but sometimes I think he is a spiritual/motivational speaker for his older sister (me).  The picture is of him and my beautiful sister in law Sara....the one that takes care of Hank and their five children while Hank is traveling the country speaking.  She is amazing too!

Click on the picture for Hank's Facebook Site.
https://www.facebook.com/hanksmithcds

Laughing is good for the soul

You know your in a better place when you are telling your friend about how  Dishwasher paper wrappers left in the sink led to the ultimate downfall of your relationship and it makes you both laugh and laugh and laugh.

My friend then said to me.  "Its good you can laugh at it now".  I said "Your right, yes it is.  It's been a long time coming and I know I have a long ways to go to completely recover, but I am on my way."

No need for an escape

I have found that I really need this time alone.  It would be so easy to jump back into a relationship and just "go on with life".  But that would be, just as this quotes says...an escape, one that wouldn't last because quick fixes never really fix anything, they just temporarily make it better. 

I need to face this head on and figure out why I would put myself in a situation where I had to compromise and change the person I really am.  I cannot believe how much of myself I changed, how much I hid and how much I eventually lost, all for something and someone that turned out, wasn't real at all.  In any case, I am getting my true self back and I want to keep her the next time around!

 Before I let anyone into my life again, I want to be able to look in the mirror and say  I am proud of who you are, I am proud that I do not judge people, I have a loving heart, I am loyal person, I am true person and most importantly I am honest person. The next person in my life will know that I have made mistakes, I want to live my life knowing I really have nothing to hide.  I am living my life now so that when my boy wants to start dating, I can tell him of my experiences; I will be able to say "Yes I made mistakes, big ones, but then I realized those mistakes and put pride aside and apologized, "sincerely apologized. 

I heard a song today that really says it all.

"When you've done something wrong, do not just confess, but do your best, to make your wrong a right.

Change your thoughts

I am trying to do this, when a sad or bad memory sneaks in my mind and starts to break me down,  I consciously change my thoughts.  I believe that what you tell yourself becomes reality (for people that live in constant lies, that is a bad thing, they start to believe their lies) but for the rest of us, the "good guys" like me :) I will continue to think only the good and push out the bad.  I have no time for that anyway, I spend all my time loving the good people in my life. 

Patience my darling, Patience

This quote fits me and my life perfectly!  I was actually looking for a quote on taking things one day at a time and I ran into this quote about not giving up what you want most in life.  The "NOW'" of life sometimes take over the goals of the future.  I have a clear plan in my head for both me and my son and what will help us achieve ultimate happiness and success in all of our lives.  Stay focused on the goal.  Always remembering that Patience is not simply sitting back and waiting.  Patience is continuing to accomplish small daily goals while working towards a worthwhile goal and not getting upset when immediate results are not present.  One day all the Now Happiness, Now Sadness, Now Sacrifices and Now Fears will all have meaning.  That will be a great day, so don't give it up!

Moving Further On!

Our Kitchen Dancing Song!  If your spirit needs a little boost....Play this song, grab your child and head to the kitchen for some Dancing.  Me and my guy listen to this almost every morning, dancing, laughing, and singing right before we head out the door.  I haven't found a better song!

An Angel, named Mommy

This was one of my most favorite things someone sent me when I was pregnant.  And now that he is here, I realize I am that Angel.  I thank God every single day for picking me.  How lucky could one girl get, I get to love, care and protect for the most beautiful little boy on the planet!  (I may be a bit biased :)).  Note to self: Always remember how lucky you really are.

Cha Cha

I have done alot of dancing lately, and I plan on a whole lot more!  Cha Cha Cha Ladies'!

Another daily goal - achieved

Yesterday I accomplished another step in my recovery.  I picked up my boy from his Dad at our regular spot and didn't even realize his girlfriend was in car with him, I was too excited to see my little boy. What a great feeling to realize you have forgotten.  It's like a delete button for life.  Yay me. 

Thank You Walt

Today, my boy and I watched Pocohantas.  Great show with a little unrealistic Love story.  But the tree reminded me that we are on the right path.  All this isn't easy, but it will be worth it.  

You ARE allowed to Play!!!!

More time on the little things

I read this when My son was 3 months old and it made all the difference!  So now I spend more time crawling playing games around on the floor and I save my laundry/cleaning for Nap Time and the long long long days he is at his Dads. I would rather have a temporarily messy home filled with giggles than a clean organized silent home any day!

I will mom, my way, Thank You :)

I have recently been told by one of my very good friends that I'm doing every thing wrong.  Um, excuse me but my son is hardly ever sick, my son is always smiling and my son, at 9 months is smarter than most 2 year old. I'm a fabulous mom!  

After I wrote this I realized all moms probably have the tendencies to "share their knowledge".  We talked, we realize her mommy style and my mommy style.....two totally different styles.    

The Beginning Quote

I wondered what Inspirational Quote to start this blog with and then looking back on my other blog I found the perfect one!  Every night this is how I feel and every day when I get up and see my beautiful little boys smile, I know that this is who I am.  I am strong, I am beautiful and I can handle anything.