Quit Worrying, Plan instead and then go to sleep

I use to say "I can't help it, I am a worrier, that is what I do"  But I have realized that worrying is such a complete waste of time.  I hear many people say  that I  worry about things that will probably never happen.  I wish that was my life, but my circumstances are becoming very predictable and guessing what is going to happen is becoming easier.  So instead of worrying about a problem that is most likely coming, I have decided to start creating a Plan A and a Plan B.  That way I am two steps ahead of the game.  If the situation never happens then I know how to proceed and if the situation does happen, I am calm and know exactly the best way to handle it.  So I guess some would say, well...your still worrying, I don't think so.  I am preparing. Moral of the Story: If something is really scary, or if you really feel like a situation is imminent, then create a Plan A (if it doesn't happen) and a Plan B (if it does happen) and then go to sleep knowing either way, Your prepared.

What matters most to you?

One of my members came in today to talk to me about resigning his Membership because his wife of 62 years had just passed away and he couldn't bear coming to the club without her.  With tears in his eyes, and swelling in mine, we talked about his wife, how great she was, everything she did for him, all the small things she did that meant the most and how he simply just couldn't live without her.  I gave him a hug, told him I would take care of resigning his Membership and wished him the very best.

Later I saw this post, posted by a friend on facebook.  I asked myself, what matters most to me?  My little boy matters most to me, my family matters most to me, my closest friends matter the most to me.  Hank talks of compassionate listening a lot when he gives seminars on his Doctorate thesis "Trust". Moral of the story, I have always thought of myself as a good listener, and I am.  However, today, I really learned what Compassionate listening is all about and what a person can learn just by really compassionately listening.

Boldly Go

Have you ever wondered how strong you really are.  Just how much can you take before someone is allowed to beat you down and leave you broken?  I found out that I am actually becoming very strong.  My current situation is teaching me an immense about of courage, patience and calmness.  If anything is coming out of all this. I am becoming  mentally stronger, which just makes me a better mother.  Moral to this story:  Try to look at your situation as an outsider would.  You will see how you are acting and reacting to situations.  Notice if your growing stronger or weaker and then make the change accordingly.

Lighten your load and let go

I have had such a hard time in understanding how to deal with the loss of losing people in a breakup.  I'm not talking about the stars of the show, I am talking about the extra's, the people that are on the outskirts of the relationship.  Hard as I try, It doesn't seem to be in my DNA to be able to say..."well they aren't a part of my life anymore, so I don't care about them" and in some ways I think that is a good thing.  Honestly, I really don't want to have that talent.  The talent I am searching for is the ability to understand that I cannot control what others do and when they let go of me, I must let go also, even if I didn't do anything to deserve it. Certain circumstances of last week forced  me to face this exact situation.  Which I think I did with grace and kindness.  Moral of this story: You don't have to do the "letting go", but once someone does - respect the decision and move on.

Focus on the people in your life that you know without a doubt they would never leave your side whether you were going through the very best or the very worst of times of your life.  

Cheers to being Cheerful

There is so much negativity around in my life, it is very easy to find yourself wallowing in misery.  So what do I do when I am being compounded by miserable people who feel the need to share their miserable attitudes and miserable situations?  I call the people in my life that bring out the best in me, the people who give me a quick "Attitude Adjustment". I am lucky, I have what I call "Attitude Adjustment Angels" My own little AAA group!  One of my most favorite girl friends, Christy, has the most positive attitude of any woman I have met, and my younger brother Hank, well, he is always a fun person to talk to when misery starts creeping into my life....he puts thats misery into perspective, reminds me of the source, makes me laugh again and again.  Laughter trumps misery all the time.

Moral of the Story....never wallow in your own or someone else's misery and when it starts creeping into your life, surround yourself with people who live Cheerfully, after all they are much nicer to talk to!

Keep working towards complete success

Where are you when it comes to these six essential qualities?
Sincerity: I am sincere in all that I do now, but I wasn't in the past and I am trying to make up for that now.
Personal Integrity:  I have regained all my personal integrity and I am extremely proud of it.
Humility: A humble person is a confident beautiful person.  I continue to work on that every day.
Courtesy: I am happy to say I always try to be courteous, even to those that don't particularly deserve it. Wisdom: I do have much more to learn every day in many areas and I am excited to keep learning.
Charity: I really don't have much, however, I have received more charity than I could ever dream, so it is so more important to me that I Pay It Forward.

Moral to the story: Work towards these six qualities and you will be successful in all areas of your life.
Always keeping in mind, there is a thin line between confidence and arrogance.  It's called humility. Remember that confidences smiles and arrogance smirks.  Just remembering that sentence will help you see real character of a person.

Changes on the Horizon

 I have been looking back lately on all the changes I have gone through over the past year.  Some of the changes I had control over and some I did not, but all the changes turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me.

Sometimes while I am waiting on that  "big" change to happen I think I lose sight of all the "little" changes that have happened to me, by choice or by circumstance.  Either way all of those little changes will ultimately bring us to our ultimate goal.

Moral of the story; Try to make one change every day, keeping in mind that the smallest tiny change may result in the biggest change of your life.

This bottom quote, just made me laugh.  Next time I start to feel "stuck", I will remember, I am not a tree.

I feel rich

When it comes down to it, family is all that really matters.    Money cannot buy happiness....Yes, it can buy things that may make you temporarily happy, and you can buy others attention....but do you really want someone in your life that you had to "purchase" their attention?  Moral of this story:  Buying someones attention is much different then earning someone's affection and adoration.

My 2nd quote

Since most of you have been reading my post from the beginning you know that I am excited to say I have created a new talent.  I find a quote, or in this case I create a quote that makes me feel the exact opposite of what "life" would like to have me feel.  Whether it is circumstance or just mean people that are bringing you down, focus on simply being  happy and grateful for what you do have.  The next day will be brighter and happier.  In this case I know it will!

Make Someone Else's Day instead of focusing on your own

 Making someone else's day always results in making your own day.  

Try it.  

I bet you smile!

Two really good words

I am preparing myself for a very difficult weekend and beginning of the week.  This year I am spending Christmas Eve and Christmas Day alone while my little one is spending Christmas Eve and Christmas Day with his Big Brother, his father and family.   I love the fact that I am allowed through the grace of a wonderful woman to see the connection between the two of them and watch them really become brothers.  I have been doing a lot of learning and reading about strength and equanimity and ways to keep the calm and peace in  your heart even when the world around you is trying to break you down.  

So while I wait for a few days to pass I will prepare us for a  many days of fun visiting my family!  

Yes it will be difficult

Yes we will make it through it 

Yes it is worth it.

  

Change the way you think about it

It is  completely possible to take a negative situation and turn it into something positive.
I have the ability to turn things around and make myself smile.
Knowing that I can change the way I feel and think about a situation in a moments notice,
is a nice trait to have.

Milestones

I saw this quote last night and immediately said to myself, Hey...Thats NOT me!  It is an amazing feeling to know without a shadow of a doubt that through much regret, sadness, shame, commitment and complete honesty I can say that I will never have to wonder if "that" will ever happen to me again.  I remember so well that small feeling that always snuck into my thoughts, the knowledge of what was coming.    Karma always happens, it has to, it is necessary, because human beings will only change through trials, struggles, humility and perseverance, they do not change from words alone. 

Remind you of anyone?

Ha ha ha ha ha, I saw this picture and immediately smiled. Reminds me of some people.  He he he.

  I have been bombarded with negativity lately and I realized that I was allowing that negativity into my life, just letting it walk right through my door.
So,from now on, whatever it is, email, phone, text, person walking down the street.....Really look at the person it is coming from.  Really look at what type of person it is coming from and then simply decide "negative or positive".  If it's negative, hit the delete button on your phone, text, email or as this quote says "run away".  Let them keep their negativity, after all they are the ones that deserve it!

The truth is simple

Its funny that this post follows my New Years Resolution.  It shows you just how hard the devil will work against you when you start to feel just a bit of encouragement.  Just a few moments ago I received an email from an old friend who wanted me to know all of the lies being said about me.  I know I should be to the point in my life where it just doesn't matter and I am almost there, I will just say that it doesn't hurt as much anymore.

I just keep remembering these lies are not my lies, I am not the one having to live these lies and I do not have to remember these lies.  The people that believe these lies must have never really cared to know me at all.

New Years Resolution

Ha ha ha, love these guys!

Ha ha ha,

I love Calvin and Hobbs, I always have.

My New Years Resolutions! 


1. Trust God.
Action: Study. Learn. Honestly accept that what has happened in our past was meant to happen and what will come in our future is meant to come. Remember each morning when you live in Brightness, bright things find their way to you and miracles happen! So Smile and Live Brightly!

2. Search for the Good in people
Action: Judge less, Forgive and Forget, Help others, Honestly believe that most people are loyal, honest and kind. Surround yourself with Good People.

3. Be the most awesome greatest Mommy in the entire world!
Action: Dance more, smile more, play more, learn more, cook more, work more, sleep more, dream more, teach more. Continue to LOVE my little guy with all my heart, mind and strength!

Where am I today? Moving forward

Almost a year has passed since my life was turned upside down.  My little man and I moved out of our home and a unfaithful relationship to find our way again.  Now that he is just turned one year old, I have been wondering on where I am, have I made it out of the storm?

I guess I can say I have.  I do not cry anymore over the loss.  I miss the people that were associated with the relationship, I think that will always remain though.  People loved me and then lost me just like I lost them.  There is no reason to stop loving them.

The biggest change I think I have encountered in myself is that I have stopped any of the "Pity Parties".  I no longer sit on the floor with my Helmet of Hopelessness, crying my eyes out.  (Thank you Joyce Meyers for that inspirational message).  Whenever I feel myself getting down, I remind myself of two very important things.  The first is that I have the most beautiful, healthy, handsome little boy in the universe that loves his mommy.  Second, God is now leading our path.  I have hope and faith that truth will prevail.  I am so excited about the future and that excitement helps me know that I am on the right path. 

It's nice to finally be on the right path, with great people guiding us and surrounding us.  It is so wonderful to live a life of truth instead of lies.  I have faced myself, I have faced others and become a better person, a better woman and most importantly a better mother because of it.  One day my little man will know of everything about me, everything we went through together and now I can honestly say, He will be proud of who I became.

I guess the question of "Where am I" is best answered in the second quote.  I am now living our life, soaking up every precious moment I have with my boy.  At the end of the every day I remind myself of my life, my boy, my friends and my family and then finally I ask myself "Ok, what did you learn today?"

  This is a much better place than where I was just one short year ago.

If you are in the middle of the storm, if you are sitting in the corner with your helmet of hopelessness on wondering if the pain, hurt and confusion will ever end.  Yes it will.  Choose to think differently.  Read inspirational quotes, listen to good, honest and uplifting people.  Seek out those people that are truly happy and make them part of your life.  You can change the way you feel by simply choosing to do so.  

I don't get sick, I am Mom

Mom's Rock

I am Mom, I don't get sick.
Ok, well maybe I do,
but I ignore it quite well!
This past week has been a tough one.

My little guy is fighting this very mean virus that is going around and to my surprise, I found out this week, I was fighting it too! So, this is my Kudo's to all the Moms out there that have forgotten they were sick too!

 I made myself laugh this week, while testing the thermometer on myself to make sure the fever reading I was getting for my guy was correct, I found out that I had a 102.9 Fever.  I stopped, thought to myself...Self, do you feel sick? Oh, yep...I guess I do.  Oh well, no time for that.  I am Mom and my little guy needs to be held, cuddled, pampered and hydrated.  So sleep all day my little guy and play all night, whatever it takes,.  Whatever makes him feel better.

It always amazes me what I found out I am capable of, just because I became a Mom!

Simply Thankful

Very simply, I am thankful for my life.

 I am SO thankful for my little boy and the opportunity to be his mother.

I am thankful for my family and all the extremely kind people and forgiving people who have helped us over this very difficult year.

I am so thankful for all of my experiences to grow

I am so thankful for the amazing year and the strength that God blessed me with.

I am thankful for ability to be as silly as we want to be!

What a blessing to be a Mommy.  My gratitude journal is full of Thankfulness today.

Moving toward a Better Brighter Future

This is a perfect quote for today.  In the past, I know that I allowed myself to care for someone so much that I would overlook even the basic human "nice" qualities in order to keep yourself in that relationship.  Love is a strong emotion, and it is OK to love, it is OK to hurt over love loss.  What is not OK is to not see the true image in front of you while you are experiencing these emotions.  The past two days have brought up some difficult memories for me and for a few moments I have found myself wandering back into the past.  But I know that the past is definitely not what I want for me and my little guy.

Our future is so much brighter than the past.

Some of the memories of the past were sweet, and some of the people in my past were as sweet as they come and I am very sad that they are not a part of our lives anymore.  But I can't let my feelings towards them blur the cold hard facts of what has actually happened to us.

You only learn when you can accept what has happened and move on to a better brighter future.

I usually don't like the "Keep Calm" quotes, but this one works  for me!  For a few days now my spirit has been tried and tested.  But today I stand with a firm resolve and commitment to the goals that I believe are best for my little family.  There will always be people trying to stop you from acheiving your goals and there will be people helping you acheive your goals.  Make sure you surround yourself with the people who are helping, not hindering.  It doesn't make you a bad person to let go of negative people, it makes you a smart person.

Stay with the goal

Remember to stay with your goal AND keep your character and integrity while doing it!  It isn't impossible, just a little difficult 

Difficult times? Yes..... giving up.....No!

So here we go again. It was expected and amazingly it seems that it will be a win win for me no matter which way it goes.  Sometimes if you remain quiet a bully will say all he needs to say that actually ends up helping you.  Yes it is hard, but it will all be worth it!  

Your Choice, Hope, Healing, Joy or Darkness

I found this little quote on Hope this morning.  It always amazes me that I never looked at the word HOPE like this.  Hold On Pain Ends.  How true!

Then I found the other quote.  Healing Comes when we CHOOSE to move toward brighter things in our life! Or as my wise sister likes to say "Today, I chose Joy".  

Why wouldn't you "choose joy"?  Maybe it is difficult to let go of all the dark things in your life simply because of fear.  Fear of whats on the horizon.  Yes, sometimes change is scary, but it is a Wonderful Scary!  

I love the fact that day after day, We are building a  Brighter Happier Life and that little nemesis; "change", hoping for "change", working toward "change"  just isn't so scary anymore!

Perfect

My Gratitude Journal starts today!

I was listening to a talk show on the radio last night and the woman was discussing how to brighten up your day, every single day for the rest of your life.  Doesn't that sound interesting?  I really did think to myself, I want to brighten my day and my little guys day every single day for the rest of my life.  So I continued listening....She said, very simply.  Keep a Gratitude Journal.  Every day, every morning and every night take a few moments to write down what you are grateful for.  It can be as deep as the love that me and my little guy share or as light-hearted as someone who helped me out to my car with my little guy and my groceries.

I love this idea, what better way to make sure you smile in the morning and the night than to remind yourself just exactly how blessed you are.

Say A Prayer, Trust in God and Smile

If you knew anything about my situation you would know that there was a time in my life I could have chosen to be where I am wanting to be right now.  I don't consider it a "bad decision" I just consider it a decision that I made without being shown all the facts!  But recently I have learned that I have a really good chance of getting to change our situation!  I honestly believe that this is our chance to do what is right for us!  Positive thinking not only gives you hope, it gives you a smile, it gives your dreams a chance to flow.  In the end, it will all work out.  If it hasn't worked out yet....It isn't the end.

Stand with Grace and Dignity

One of the hardest things I am finding in dealing with an ex is not to participate in the ranting and raving, basically through Text Messaging now.  I have to remind myself to stand strong, but stand with dignity and grace.  My younger brother sent me a talk where Elder Holland reminded us: Speak the words of an Angel and act as if you were a Angel and nothing else.  

I like to remind myself, an Angel is protected, An Angel has Grace.  Whatever will happen will happen.  But how I handle this situation may help or hinder the process.  So today I am chosing no not join in, instead to keep singing a song in my head that my Grandmother loved.  

I missed the opportunity to sing this at her funeral because I was to worried about trying to fix an un-fixable relationship.  It has been hard to forgive myself for that, however, I know she knows that I was trying to the best for me and what was once my family.  I just didn't know that my family had already been ripped apart by someone else.  Had I known, I would have much rather stood in the church and sing this song as her praise.  

She and my other Grandma are the angels that I learn from and lean on now.  

Loner Smile

What a great quote!  

Think about it!  

How often do you sit alone, with yourself and just smile? 

Do you sit around smiling because the blessings that YOU ARE BLESSED with are just that great?

Next time I am alone (Which is every other weekend)  

I will make sure to take the time to smile with myself.

Something great is on the horizon

I've often wondered why I feel like just when I get ahead of things, life takes a turn and I have to fight harder and be stronger.  This quote help me realize that there are great things on the horizon and I have two choices.  I can either give up and surrender to all my trials, or I can fight harder.  I choose to fight harder.

I really want to be part of the something great on the horizon!

Today was a difficult day for me.  One year ago today I clearly remember all  the promises made to me that we're never kept.  I thought about staying home in the comforts of my home and the loving arms of my little guy, but only for a moment.  Then I realized I could do this.  This year I have overcome so many challenges and sadness.  My inner strength is now a force.  I wasn't about to let a memory stop us from moving forward.  So tonight my little guy and me made our own memories and I made promises to him that will be kept.  Change the thought; change your life. 

Moral of the story.  Get up, Get Dressed and Get Going.  Your life will never change unless you have the courage to walk through the doors you are afraid of. 

Smile Smile Smile and then Smile some more

It is so funny how quotes are sent to me by friends at the most consequential time.  I laughed when I read this one.

This is a great quote and most of the time it is tested and proved positive!  Except for yesterday.

I was sitting in my car at a red light and lo and behold my ex drives up next to me.  I know he saw me because he glanced over.  So I do what I always do when I see someone I know...I smiled and waived.  That is just me.  However I didn't get a smile or a wave back.  He looked away with a scowl on his face.  I thought to myself, someone is an unhappy camper.

Moral of the Story.  Smile at people even if they don't smile at you.  Don't let anyone take that smile away.  When you smile, your eyes shine, life shines and your heart feels better.  I know this because my little guys smile makes my life shine every single day.

People may try to knock you down from the outside, but the only person that can knock you down from the inside is yourself.  Smile at yourself, smile at others....Most of the time you will get a smile back and when you don't it will be the non-smiler missing out, not you.

A Double Fortune

Today we stopped for Chinese after swim.  The woman at the counter let my little guy pick our fortune cookie.  When we got home, we ate dinner and then cracked open our cookie.  To our surprise we had two really great fortunes inside the cookie!   

Moral to the story:

Have Patience and in the mean time, help someone who needs help.

Mommy Strong

 I think this is one of the most amazing things about Women, Mothers specifically.  Women constantly get knocked down, get back up and begin again.  I have many  friends who are going through this"beginning again" process, some from failed relationships, some from failed career paths, no matter what their story, all of these women in my life are beginning again and they are doing it beautifully.  I am blessed to have so many inspirational women in my life that I can lean on.  I hope I can be an inspiration to them as well.

Going the Distance

I often wondered why I started training to be a distance runner.  By reading the quote, I just figured out why.  God knew that I would need the strength to endure what I am going through now.  I use my running analogys alot in life.  I tell myself all the time, I have ran 2 marathons....I can handle anything!  This is a great quote that is going up on my wall.  I think I will blow it up into Poster Size.