This is definitely worth of Fridge Posting!
25 Rules for Mothers of Sons
1. Teach him the words for how he feels.
Your son will scream out of frustration and hide out of embarrassment. He’ll cry from fear and bite out of excitement. Let his body move by the emotion, but also explain to him what the emotion is and the appropriate response to that emotion for future reference. Point out other people who are feeling the same thing and compare how they are showing that emotion. Talk him through your emotions so that someday when he is grown, he will know the difference between angry and embarrassed; between disappointment and grief.
2. Be a cheerleader for his life.
There is no doubt that you are the loudest person in the stands at his t-ball games. There is no doubt that he will tell you to “stop, mom” when you sing along to his garage band’s lyrics. There is no doubt that he will get red-faced when you show his prom date his pictures from boy scouts. There is no doubt that he is not telling his prom date about your blog where you’ve been bragging about his life from his first time on the potty to the citizenship award he won in ninth grade. He will tell you to stop. He will say he’s embarrassed. But he will know that there is at least one person that is always rooting for him.
3. Teach him how to do laundry.
..And load the dishwasher, and iron a shirt. He may not always choose to do it. He may not ever have to do it. But someday his wife will thank you.
4. Read to him and read with him.
Emilie Buchwald said, “Children become readers on the laps of their parents.” Offer your son the opportunity to learn new things, believe in pretend places, and imagine bigger possibilities through books. Let him see you reading…reading the paper, reading novels, reading magazine articles. Help him understand that writing words down is a way to be present forever. Writers are the transcribers of history and memories. They keep a record of how we lived at that time; what we thought was interesting; how we spoke to each other; what was important. And Readers help preserve and pass along those memories.
5. Encourage him to dance.
Dance, rhythm, and music are cultural universals. No matter where you go, no matter who you meet – they have some form of the three. It doesn’t have to be good. Just encourage your son that when he feels it, it’s perfectly fine to go ahead and bust a move.
6. Make sure he has examples of good men who are powerful because of their brains, their determination, and their integrity.
The examples of men with big muscles and a uniform like Batman will surround your son from birth. But make sure he also knows about men who kick a$s because of their brains (Albert Einstein), and their pen Mark Twain, and their words (Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.), and their determination (Team Hoyt), and their ideas (The Wright Brothers), and their integrity, and fearlessness (Neil Armstrong), and their ability to keep their mouths closed when everyone else is screaming (Jackie Robinson).
7. Make sure he has examples of women who are beautiful because of their brains, their determination, and their integrity.
The examples of traditionally beautiful women (like Daphna Blake) will surround your son from birth. But make sure he knows about women who are beautiful from the inside out because of their brains (Madame Maria Curie), and their pen (Harper Lee), and their words (Eleanor Roosevelt), and their determination (Anne Sullivan), and their ideas (Oprah Winfrey), and their integrity (Miep Gies), and fearlessness (Ameila Earhart), and their ability to open their mouths and take a stand when everyone else is silent (Aung San Suu Kyi).
8. Be an example of a beautiful woman with brains, determination, and integrity.
You already are all of those things. If you ever fear that you are somehow incapable of doing anything - remember this: If you have done any of the following: a) grew life b) impossibly and inconceivably got it out of your body c) taken care of a newborn d) made a pain go away with a kiss e) taught someone to read f) taught a toddler to eat with a utensil g) cleaned up diarrhea without gagging h) loved a child enough to be willing to give your life for them (regardless if they are your own) or i) found a way to be strong when that child is suffering...you are a superhero. do not doubt yourself for one second. Seriously.
9. Teach him to have manners.
Because its nice. and it will make the world a little better of a place.
10. Give him something to believe in.
Because someday he will be afraid, or nervous, or heartbroken, or lost, or just need you, and you won’t be able to be there. Give him something to turn to when it feels like he is alone, so that he knows that he will never be alone; never, never, never.
11. Teach him that there are times when you need to be gentle.
Like with babies, and flowers, and animals, and other people’s feelings.
12. Let him ruin his clothes.
Resolve to be cool about dirty and ruined clothes. You’ll be fighting a losing battle if you get upset every time he ruins another piece of clothing. Don’t waste your energy being angry about something inevitable. Boys tend to learn by destroying, jumping, spilling, falling, and making impossible messes. Dirty, ruined clothes are just par for the course.
13. Learn how to throw a football.
Or how to use a hockey stick, or read music, or draw panda bears (or in my case alpacas), or the names of different train engines, or learn to speak Elvish, or recognize the difference between Gryffindor and Slytherin, or the lyrics to his favorite song. Be in his life, not as an observer but as an active participant.
14. Go outside with him.
Turn off the television, unplug the video games, put your cellphone on the charger, even put your camera away. Just go outside and follow him around. Watch his face, explore his world, and let him ask questions. It’s like magic.
15. Let him lose.
Losing sucks. Everybody isn’t always a winner. Even if you want to say, “You’re a winner because you tried,” don’t. He doesn’t feel like a winner, he feels sad and crappy and disappointed. And that’s a good thing, because sometimes life also sucks, no matter how hard (as moms) we try to make it not suck for our kids. This practice will do him good later when he loses again (and again, and again, and again, and again…..) Instead make sure he understands that – sometimes you win – sometimes you lose. But that doesn’t mean you ever give up.
16. Give him opportunities to help others.
There is a big difference in giving someone the opportunity to help and forcing someone to help. Giving the opportunity lights a flame in the heart and once the help is done the flame shines brighter and asks for more opportunities. Be an example of helping others in your own actions and the way your family helps each other and helps others together.
17. Remind him that practice makes perfect.
This doesn’t just apply to performance-based activities (like sports and music) but also applies to everything in life. You become a better writer by writing. You become a better listener by listening. You become better speaker by speaking. Show your son this when he is just young enough to understand (that means from birth, folks – they are making sense of the world as soon as they arrive), practice trick-or-treating at your own front door before the real thing. Practice how you will walk through airport security before a trip. Practice how you order your own food from the fast food cashier. Practice, practice, practice.
18. Answer him when he asks, “Why?”
Answer him, or search for the answer together. Show him the places to look for the answers (like his dad, or grandparents, or his aunts/uncles, or his books, or valid internet searches). Pose the question to him so he can begin thinking about answers himself. Someday, when he needs to ask questions he’s too embarrassed to ask you – he’ll know where to go to find the right answers.
19. Always carry band-aids and wipes on you.
Especially the wipes.
20. Teach him how to do things.
…Without interrupting about how to do it the ‘right way.’ If you show and teach and discover with your son while he is growing up, some day down the road (after a short period of your son believing you know nothing), he will come to the realization that you knows everything.
21. Give him something to release his energy.
Drums, a pen, a punching bag, wide open space, water, a dog. Give him something to go crazy with – or he will use your stuff. and then you’ll sorry.
22. Build him forts.
Forts have the ability to make everyday normal stuff into magic. Throw the couch cushions, a couple blankets, and some clothespins and you can transform your living room into the cave of wonders. For the rest of his life, he’ll be grateful to know that everyday normal stuff has the potential to be magical.
23. Take him to new places.
Because it will make his brain and his heart open up wider, and the ideas and questions and memories will rush in.
24. Kiss him.
Any mother of sons will tell you that little boys are so loving and sweet. They can be harsh and wild and destructive during most of the day. But there are these moments when they are so kind and sensitive and tender. So much so that it can cause you to look around at the inward, reserved grown men in your life and think, ‘what happens in between that made you lose that?’ Let’s try to stop the cycle by kissing them when they’re loving and kissing them even more when they’re wild. Kissing them when they’re 2 months and kissing them when they’re 16 years old. You’re the mom – you can go ahead and kiss him no matter how big he gets – and make sure he knows it. p.s. (this one is just as important for dad’s too).
25. Be home base.
You are home to him. When he learns to walk, he will wobble a few feet away from you and then come back, then wobble away a little farther and then come back. When he tries something new, he will look for your proud smile. When he learns to read, he will repeat the same book to you twenty times in a row, because you’re the only one who will listen that many times. When he plays his sport, he will search for your face in the stands. When he is sick, he will call you. When he really messes up, he will call you. When he is grown and strong and tough and big and he feels like crying, he will come to you; because a man can cry in front of his mother without feeling self-conscious. Even when he grows up and has a new woman in his life and gets a new home, you are still his mother; home base, the ever constant, like the sun. Know that in your heart and everything else will fall into place.
People are always underestimating themselves, including me. I get myself all worked up sometimes doubting my abilities and then I remind myself to look at what I have accomplished, look at where I am at today because of my yesterdays. 
Not knowing what the future holds is a scary thing. There is one combatant. HOPE. Hope is one of the most precious emotions a person can experience, it can bring your spirits up and keep you smiling and laughing even when the tears momentarily come flowing down. Hope is the fighting pathway through the darkest struggles. Hope will bring you the Faith to believe that in the end, everything will be perfect. Hope and Faith enables your heart to fill with Charity. The more Charity you feel in your heart....the more Hope you feel in your soul. 
I love this quote, this reminds me in every situation the better way to be is calm.
I am me, and I became the "real" me after one of the toughest years in history! Each and every experience not only makes your stronger, it makes you smarter, it makes you more grateful for the good people in your life, it makes you extremely grateful for the blessing that you have. 
I am so happy and so ready for this next chapter in our life. One year ago today I knew a big change was coming and I knew it was going to be tough. Today I stand here knowing I was brave enough to make that change and strong enough to endure that change and wise enough to know I had to accept the change. 
I have been second guessing myself lately, mainly because I was losing patience with our judicial system, not because of anything I have done. I was told today by a very very very great source: "Stand Up! Be Strong!". So I will, I am and I will continue. The energy returned to me today along with the excitement of the future. Moral of the Story: Things are always difficult in "the middle" patience may waiver, thoughts become discouraging. But when the end of something and the beginning of another starts to glimmer in the sunlight your energy and imagination will return. Keep the faith. Stand up and be strong!
Have you ever asked yourself the question, "Why am I acting like this, I thought I was done with this?" I find myself in that situation sometimes. Words, smells, just everyday life stirs up thoughts, thoughts stir up memories, and memories stir up emotions. It all seems to go in a continuous, almost viscous, circle. 
It is so wonderful, realizing just how much my priorities have changed. Even down to my own Birthday! Today I was talking to a friend, making plans for her and her boy to drive down to visit me and my little guy next week when I realized, hey...That's my Birthday! I had completely forgot! So many things that were so important to me in the past just arent' that important anymore! So later on today I received an email from my Dad asking what I want for my birthday, I instinctively asked for a present for my little guy. My dad wrote back...It's your Birthday. I said Yes and I want to give my little guy a present, that would make me the happiest! 
I had a long conversation with a friend the other night about what has happened to me and my son over the past year. Everything we have endured and where we are now. I received this letter by email from him. What a wonderful inspiring letter. 
This is for my friend who had to deal with a very difficult situation last night. I hope I helped you find some logic and then find some humor in it. Moral of the Story: Share your experiences, share your funny stories, share your thoughts and ideas. Sometimes the best medicine is just two friends, laughing and laughing at how rude, cruel, dumb some people are. Always remind your friends....Karma comes. She may come late.....but she always comes. he he he
You are never to old to Play! Run around, play hide and seek, Build towers with Blocks for the sole purpose of Tearing them down. Playing is good for the Soul!.jpg)
Today I realized how much I wasn't hurting. It's Valentines Day and I am spending it with the cutest boy on the planet! My little boy. I couldn't imagine spending it with anyone else. 
The ability to say that my confidence is returning not because of what I have done but because of what other people have done for me. The forgiveness that special people have given me, the people that came to our rescue - the people that have spent time building me back up from being torn down. It is because of all of the friendships and charity of people in my life that I am finding confidence in myself and in others again. 
These days are all about pressing forward and moving on. So when I have a sad moment I have to stop and think about exactly what I am sad about, making sure I haven't moved backwards in my thinking and I am Pressing On. I read this quote and immediately realized; my sadness wasn't for me anymore.
Today I accomplished a goal I have been trying to get done for almost a year. The proposal has been made, the documents have all been accumulated, reference checks, reference letters, proofs, its all done, a years worth of collecting information and now the papers have been signed and are on their way. I have done almost a year of preparation and now finally the time has come. Today I walked out of the office and raised my hands in the air and said I have done everything that I know to prepare for this. God, its all yours". A huge weight has been is lifted. I am hopeful and positive that we will have a great outcome! Moral of the Story: Do what you can, diligently prepare and work towards your goal and then trust in God to do the rest. Another inspired Joyce Meyers moment.
I heard two quotes today that I loved!
2nd Quote: This struck a nerve in me this morning, I thought to myself, I can do everything on there except for line 5. "I am going to dig up Positive things from the Past." There are many people and many things associated with my past that I wish to forget, so that one was a hard one for me. But there are many people in my past that I wish to always remember, (young and old) that have helped me become the mom that I am today. 
I use to say "I can't help it, I am a worrier, that is what I do" But I have realized that worrying is such a complete waste of time. I hear many people say that I worry about things that will probably never happen. I wish that was my life, but my circumstances are becoming very predictable and guessing what is going to happen is becoming easier. So instead of worrying about a problem that is most likely coming, I have decided to start creating a Plan A and a Plan B. That way I am two steps ahead of the game. If the situation never happens then I know how to proceed and if the situation does happen, I am calm and know exactly the best way to handle it. So I guess some would say, well...your still worrying, I don't think so. I am preparing. Moral of the Story: If something is really scary, or if you really feel like a situation is imminent, then create a Plan A (if it doesn't happen) and a Plan B (if it does happen) and then go to sleep knowing either way, Your prepared.
Have you ever wondered how strong you really are. Just how much can you take before someone is allowed to beat you down and leave you broken? I found out that I am actually becoming very strong. My current situation is teaching me an immense about of courage, patience and calmness. If anything is coming out of all this. I am becoming mentally stronger, which just makes me a better mother. Moral to this story: Try to look at your situation as an outsider would. You will see how you are acting and reacting to situations. Notice if your growing stronger or weaker and then make the change accordingly.
I have had such a hard time in understanding how to deal with the loss of losing people in a breakup. I'm not talking about the stars of the show, I am talking about the extra's, the people that are on the outskirts of the relationship. Hard as I try, It doesn't seem to be in my DNA to be able to say..."well they aren't a part of my life anymore, so I don't care about them" and in some ways I think that is a good thing. Honestly, I really don't want to have that talent. The talent I am searching for is the ability to understand that I cannot control what others do and when they let go of me, I must let go also, even if I didn't do anything to deserve it. Certain circumstances of last week forced me to face this exact situation. Which I think I did with grace and kindness. Moral of this story: You don't have to do the "letting go", but once someone does - respect the decision and move on. 
There is so much negativity around in my life, it is very easy to find yourself wallowing in misery. So what do I do when I am being compounded by miserable people who feel the need to share their miserable attitudes and miserable situations? I call the people in my life that bring out the best in me, the people who give me a quick "Attitude Adjustment". I am lucky, I have what I call "Attitude Adjustment Angels" My own little AAA group! One of my most favorite girl friends, Christy, has the most positive attitude of any woman I have met, and my younger brother Hank, well, he is always a fun person to talk to when misery starts creeping into my life....he puts thats misery into perspective, reminds me of the source, makes me laugh again and again. Laughter trumps misery all the time. 
I have been looking back lately on all the changes I have gone through over the past year. Some of the changes I had control over and some I did not, but all the changes turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me. 
This bottom quote, just made me laugh. Next time I start to feel "stuck", I will remember, I am not a tree.
